Oct 042016
Renting for Romance-Boomers with Benefits

It was a rude awakening to realize that my rent is now equivalent to my take-home salary, give or take a few Starbucks lattes. Single, boomer, broke—and working full-time. Welcome to Silicon Valley–an exciting place to live–especially if you’re in your twenties, with impeccable geek/nerd/ and/or MBA credentials, and earning the equivalent of my annual […]

Jan 262014
The Boomer/Generation Y Paradox-- Role Reversal and the Single Boomer

There’s no one like a Generation Y young adult to make a single Boomer feel her age. (Although my twenty-one-year-old Millennial daughter is shocked that the children for whom she used to babysit are now pre-teens). As a Boomer parent, there is a special twist—a generational paradox. Spending ten days with my young adult children, […]

Aug 022013
Boomer’s Lament—Over Thirty and Underachiever?

“Don’t Trust Anyone Over Thirty.” If you’re reading L.I.L., you’re old enough to remember this slogan–or young enough to discover this piece of cultural history—attributed to Jerry Rubin, Bob Dylan, the Beatles, or Abby Hoffman. Boomers entered puberty in the Sixties with all the arrogance and self-righteousness of youth, convinced that they would never grow […]

Jul 262013
My Cougar Moment—Younger Men, the Mature Single, and Mae West

Everyone takes it in stride when older men date or marry younger women—even when the woman in question is younger than the gentleman’s grandchildren. An age difference of a mere fifteen or twenty years isn’t even noteworthy. (Of course, the men tend to be wealthy, famous and successful. Very few trophy wives are partnering with […]

Jul 122013
Sleeping Over—Overnights and the Mature Single

I’m getting packed–nightie, slippers, moisturizer. I’m worrying over my mental list of to-dos, wondering for the millionth time why I don’t just write them down. My cat is looking at me reproachfully, with that fixed, feline, guilt-producing stare. I’m spending tonight and most of tomorrow away from him. But, no. Is it an assignation? The […]

Jun 142013
Invidious) Comparisons--The Mature Single and The Self-Defeating Spreadsheet from Hell

There can be nothing quite so dispiriting as hearing how well other people are doing. Is this some kind of defect in human nature—or just mine? It’s not that you wish other people ill—of course not. You’re genuinely happy that they’re doing fine. You know you should take this as a positive sign that you […]

Jun 072013
Plumbing and the Single Life—Going Down the Drain

Plumbing is the worst kind of repair, whether it’s your body or your dwelling place. Malfunctions in our personal and/or environmental plumbing hit us where we live. It’s a particularly nasty, unpleasant, and inconvenient kind of vulnerability–you can easily empathize if you’ve had to see a urologist or gynecologist lately. It all started with perpetually […]

May 172013
Single and Unemployed--Alone on the Front Lines

“When the truth is found to be lies….and all the joy within you dies….” (“Somebody to Love,” Jefferson Airplane) On the front lines, bombs bursting, shell shock, battle fatigue, PTSD. Of course, being single and unemployed is nothing like being in combat. At least you can agonize at Starbucks instead of a tank or bunker. […]

May 032013
Weekend Desperation

Weekend Desperation My friend Nora is on the phone. She has that tone in her voice—the no-plans- it’s-already- the weekend tone of desperation. Nora is a widow and a survivor who has faced down many life and life-threatening health challenges (the rumors of her demise have been greatly exaggerated more than once), including her husband’s […]

Apr 192013
Singles Saturday Night on the Sofa and PBS Codepedency

It’s Saturday night, and like thousands of self-respecting singles, I should be getting ready to go out. To a Meetup, to a singles event, to a bar, to a bowling alley—anywhere—as long as it’s Out. Because Out is where you can see and be seen. Perhaps this could be the Saturday night when you look […]